I have been wheelchair-bound since the latter half of the sixth grade. Since then, I feel strongly an "underdeveloped portion" which exists between the handicapped and others.
The term "underdeveloped gap" may need a little explanation. Some people call it a "barrier", but because of my strong views on this matter, I prefer to use the word "underdeveloped gap."
There are many things which the able-bodied can do but the disabled cannot do. And among the disabled portion of the population, we are all different from one another in terms of what one person can do and what cannot be achieved. There is no catch-all stereotype for “the disabled”. Not knowing this tends to cause misunderstandings. In the worst cases, in the relationship between a disabled person and an able-bodied person such misunderstandings may affect respect for each other as equals.
Able-bodied people may sometimes say to the disabled (but in their heads, not out loud): "Couldn't you do this by yourself?" or "I have done so much to help you, but you don’t seem to appreciate my goodwill." On the other hand, a disabled person may likewise say to their able-bodied friends (in their heads): "I am asking for your help because I cannot do it by myself", or "I have put up with you, but you don’t understand my patience." Suppose this misunderstanding escalates to the stage where it becomes a quarrel. The able-bodied may say "I don't even care any more” while the disabled may say "OK. That’s enough. I won’t ask for your help any more.” In this situation, the able-bodied can still lead their lives, but some disabled people will face immediate difficulties in continuing to live their lives. Because the disabled person is the one needing help, s/he ends up being the one making the apology, even though the situation may not logically demand this. If this situation arises, the disabled and able-bodied are no longer emotionally equal, and this creates certain gaps between them.
But I do not regard these gaps as barriers which can never be broken through. I think that they are "underdeveloped gaps" which can be opened up and bridged if you are keen to achieve the goal of mutual acceptance.
All members of the Dreams Mountaineering Team for the Breithorn summit try to face this reality, and make every effort to open up the unopened gap in their daily busy lives. Working with them towards the same goals, I realize that I am changing myself, little by little. I am gradually able to see what was missing on my side when I was not comfortable with others.
Being wheelchair-bound, I came to hate going out at one point. Some people looked at me in my wheelchair with an surprised look or even coldly. It took a lot of courage for me to go out. Even when I had the courage to go out to shop or to eat, I realized there were difficulties in my getting around. Steps always seemed to block my way and I became tired of explaining to others every time I needed help. I dreaded going out.
But I now think if disabled people are too afraid of getting hurt and if they keep silent, it only makes it more difficult for the disabled community to be understood. I believe that the only way that disabled people and able-bodied people can understand each other is by living together, working together and acting together.
By publicly speaking about my handicap, I found there are more people out there who care about me and encourage me than those who were giving me cold looks. This is a most important thing and is a very wonderful thing to have discovered. In order to make myself better understood, I must continue making efforts to develop a tougher and more determined mind, and speak out about my handicaps to others. Through this, I want to develop myself and become a stronger person.
For me, the Breithorn challenge is not just the conquest of the mountain summit. My true goal is how we can bridge this underdeveloped gap between the disabled and others. I believe when I achieve the summit of the Breithorn, we, the disabled, and the able-bodied people can share the same sense of accomplishment and joy. At that time, I hope the underdeveloped gap will disappear.
I hope that this expedition will convince me fully that the underdeveloped gap can be eliminated. Going forward, building on this conviction, I can have the confidence in myself that I can be of assistance to younger children who have problems just like myself. Thus, it is my ultimate goal to become a child counselor.
Whether I can build my self-confidence to achieve my ambition of being a child counselor in the future depends on this expedition.
Therefore, this Breithorn summit challenge is the challenge for my future life.